Monday, May 24, 2010

Caught Off Guard and Unaware

My heart aches today for a couple that we know who just announced to us that they recently divorced. I'm stunned and also quite frustrated that I didn't see it coming and was not able to help change their direction. Although I'm not responsible for this couple's decision or the health of their former marriage, I feel that this is one of the very situations for which my wife Tracy and I have been equipped.

The truth is though; this is a painful reminder of an all too common occurrence of something that is happening all around us. Many marriages are currently in a state of distress. Blame it on the financial crisis or whatever you want; relationships are fragile because people are fragile. And unfortunately there is no amount of equipping or empathy that can make a difference in these relationships if someone doesn't reach out and ask for help. For whatever reason, this couple chose not to ask us for help. Maybe we aren't trusted friends or are unsafe in some way. I'm not saying that our influence would have made a difference in the outcome, but "all things are possible with God." Maybe they just didn't want help at all and so remained silent. Or maybe they had witnessed too much judgment in our world and didn't want to risk being the subject of ridicule from unsympathetic people. I hope to know why some day...

Today, I grieve for the loss of this couple's hope, for the loss of this covenant relationship and for the condition of marriage in our world. I also plead with all who read this; if you are struggling in life or in a relationship and are losing hope, please don't struggle alone. Reach out with whatever hope that remains and believe that there are still people who genuinely love unconditionally, people who won't judge you because they know that we all fall short of the standard set by the only one who is without sin. There IS ALWAYS someone with compassion for you.